GameStop Threatens to Ban Gabe Newell for "Inability to Count to Three"
Translated with AI from the Russian original.
The company offers the founder of Valve help with mastering arithmetic.
GameStop has issued a witty marketing statement, playing on the long-standing meme surrounding Valve. In a letter styled as a legal notice, the retailer politely but insistently demands that the founder of Valve learn to count to three, and declares its readiness to help him with this.
As "irrefutable proof" of its mathematical abilities, the company cites the return of the "Buy 2 Get 1 Free" promotion.
"This promotion clearly demonstrates our competence in counting to three. Two items are purchased, one is added for free - a total of three items. As you can see, we can count to three. We are confident that you can handle it too."
In conclusion, the retailer jokingly warns that failure to comply with the requirement may lead "to further public ridicule of counting abilities, as well as a nationwide ban on visiting all GameStop stores."
The meme that Gabe Newell "can't count to three" has been around for over a decade. None of Valve's iconic series — including Half-Life, Portal, Left 4 Dead, and Team Fortress — has ever received a third numbered installment.
Never miss our newsAdd this site to your preferred sources to see us more oftenAdd on Google
